Happy Halloween.  If you're hosting Trick-or-Treaters, please remember:

    Good Candy
Twix, Kit Kats, Milky Way, Snickers, Peppermint Patties, Three Musketeers, Blow Pops, Raisinettes, Whoppers, Sweet Tarts, Junior Mints, Nerds, M&Ms (peanut preferred) and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

    Bad Candy
Butterscotch, those old-lady-red-and-white-peppermint candies, Tootsie rolls, Certs, raisins (not to be confused with Raisinettes, see above), sugar-free anything, apples or cupcakes (because parents will throw them away in case they're poisoned or seeded with needles), Tums.

    The worst things you could give out
Pennies, because you were too lazy to go out and buy candy.  Nothing, because you ate all the candy yourself before the kids got there.  Toothbrushes and business cards, because you're a dentist and you think you're being real funny.  This is how you get kids to hate you.

The Halloween party last night was fun.  Despite the fact that many people could not figure out what our costumes were even after extensive explaination (Joe and I dressed as Dermatome Man and Woman, dermatomes being areas of skin innervated by different nerve roots), and the fact that we spent roughly five hours glitter-gluing ourselves to death to get these costumes into (what we thought was) the semblance of recognizability--it was fun.  The best costumes of the night, I think, were:

Andy Bomback and Jess, who were "retired."  They were basically wearing nylon jogging clothes and tennis shoes, and Jess was clutching this badminton racket while making this "eh...eh...eh..." noise.  Just like real retired people.  Eh.

That first year, Preston, who was dressed like a little dainty French Maid.  Except instead of "little," I mean "hulking," and insted of "dainty," insert "butch and hairy." 

Adam, who dressed up like Eric Kandel.  The key was the Nobel Prize hanging from around his neck. 
 

Grossest Cotume: Ryan King
He was dressed up like a baby.  He had a little pacifier.  A little bib was hanging from around his neck that read, "Mommy's LIttle Helper."  He was wearing Depends, for Chrissake.  Blech.

Most non-Science Academic (and therefore the Most Obscure) Costume: Anna Richards, dressed as The French Revolution.  Wha?

Biggest Cop-Out Costume: Josh Willey
He was wearing his Air Force uniform.  That's almost as bad as if someone had showed up to this party wearing scrubs. 

Most Girly-Girl Costumes: Any chick dressed up as a schoolgirl, a cat, a witch, an angel, or a harem girl.  In other words, half of the girls at the party.  As Sejal put it, "girls just want an excuse to dress slutty.  But I think that's good."

Highest Time Commitment to Lowest Costume Recognition Ratio: Michelle and Joe as The Dermatomes.  Dammit.
 
 

Joe cut his hair yesterday, partially for the costume, partially for convenience.  He buzzed his whole head with clippers.  I helped a little in the back and around the edges.  There was a moment of panic when I was helping shave the back of his head, because I was working, and all of a sudden there was this BIG WHITE STRIPE.  And I thought to myself, oh shit, I presed too hard with the clippers and now there's a big bald streak.  He's going to kill me.  But I didn't quite know how to break it to him because I was scared that he was going to get mad, so I kept buzzing the back.  He might not notice it if I don't tell him, I thought, at least not right away, and by that time, the hair will have grown back in. But then I figured that someone else would probably come up to him and point out the big bald spot in his head, and then he would be made that not only did I make him Baldo the Clown, but I didn't even come clean when it happened.  I decided it was time to face the music.