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Thursday . April 24 . 2003 . 6:15pm yoko on my tail Today is the first official day of the wedding weekend. Out of town guests start arriving this evening, and three friends are staying at our apartment for the next few days. It's going to be, as the kids on that MTV say, "off the hook." Off what hook? As in the phone ringing off the hook? We're talking on the phone now? Who in the what now? Oh, before I get any further, Joe and I would like to publicly thank Alexandra, Marianne, Larissa, Kirsten, and Amy, the lovely and generous Wellesley alums who sent us the beautiful towels off our registry. You guys didn't have to go and do that! Times are hard! You all are too much. But that's why we love you. And these towels, let me tell you, are so thick and soft, it's like you're washing your face and wiping your hands with clouds from the heavens. Drying off after a shower has never been so satisfying. (Don't get mental images of me drying off after a shower though, you porn searchers. That's right, you, the person who got here by searching on "olson twins, nude." I know you're out there, pervos.) Anyway, we've started packing for the honeymoon. As we are both obsessive compulsive, we are exceptionally good packers. It's almost like that scene in Austin Powers where Vanessa opens up her suitcase in Vegas and everything is individually wrapped in plastic bags and labeled, "YELLOW DRESS" and the like. I'm not quite that bad, but I do have a penchant for Ziplock bags for small scatterable items like toiletries and underwear. It's a long trip too, sixteen days, and during a time of year where the weather can be somewhat variable, so I'm packing quite a bit extra, just in case. Of course, Italy probably isn't quite as bad as New York, where it can up and decide to snowstorm in the middle of April or something equally bizarre. So I went to pick up my wedding dress from the salon today. My dad came along to help me carry it home, since it's pretty long, and he's taller than I. (Well, you'd hope so, wouldn't you?) When they brought it out, it seriously looked like a body bag, because they had stuffed the dress full of tissue paper and cardboard after giving it the final press, so it looked like there was a phantom torso filling out the bodice and waist of the gown. (And the cardboard and tissue phantom torso had a better body than I did. Oh, it stings.) I was of the grab-it-and-go mentality, but leave it to my father to put the fear into my head. BA This is the dress? Did you try it on? MICHELLE Yeah. I don't need to try it on, I had three fittings already. BA How do you know they actually finished the alterations? MICHELLE Because...I don't know. Because they said they would, and because it's their job. BA What if they said they were going to change the length, but they didn't? Then you'd put on the dress the day of the wedding and it would be much too long, and it would be a complete and total disaster. MICHELLE I'm sure they changed the length. That was, like, the main thing that they changed, and all they needed to do was the final basting. It's fine. BA I'm just saying, I would try it on. MICHELLE It's. Fine. BA Is it even the right dress? MICHELLE Yes. It has my name on it, right here, see? BA What if it's a mix up? What if you take the dress out of the garment bag the morning of, and it's not even the same dress that you bought? What if it's a dress for a giant? MICHELLE OK, I'll look at it. (Unzips bag, looks at the front and the back of the dress.) Yes, it's mine. OK, let's go home now. BA Maybe you should try it on before we go. Because what if you put it on the morning of the wedding and all the seams fall apart and you're left with shredded rags? MICHELLE Gah! Oh, and wouldn't you know, my dad and I had lunch at that same Japanese restaurant, and we saw Yoko Ono again. Yoko Ono is my stalker. The funniest thing is that when we finished our meals and got up to leave, all the chefs and waiters were making a big deal out of saying goodbye to my dad and bowing, since he's a really good customer and comes by at least once a week. And as we're leaving with everyone bowing and thanking us, Yoko Ono is just looking after us curiously, like, "Who the hell are those people?" xo Michelle Countdown to the wedding: 3 days Projected wedding weather: Partly cloudy with 20% chance precipitation, high 61°/ low 51° |
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