Thursday . April 10 . 2003 . 9:06am all manner of trash Now it is time to talk about TV. Before this year, I never really watched that much TV. Well, first I didn't have a TV. Then I had a TV but I was in medical school, so I had no time to watch TV. Then, I had slightly more time to watch TV, but I hated my roommates so much that I would rather hole myself up in my room playing Jewelbox for hours (or Diamond Mine, the ersatz Jewelbox) rather than be in the living room and have to see them. But now I am a fourth year medical student, so I have nothing to do all day long while I sit around waiting to collect my diploma. Things to do while sitting around include: playing with the dog, surfing the internet for interesting reading material, napping, reading trashy books so that I can save the good books for our honeymoon and cross-country travel (more on trashy books later), having witty conversations with Joe, and, of course, watching TV. Of these activities, watching TV is the easiest (other than napping), because it requires no energy whatsoever, unless you want to change the channel or turn up the volume. Here are some things that I have been watching on TV. "Felicity." I am such a girl. As I have raved before, Felicity is broadcast every weekday (and on the weekend sometimes too, it seems) on We, the channel for ladies. (This is different from Oxygen, I just discovered recently. That's the Oprah channel for ladies.) Felicity is a good show. It's not quite as good as, say, "My So-Called Life," which was, with a few episode exceptions, uniformly excellent and realistic, but it's pretty good. These are things that I think about when I watch "Felicity": 1.) Felicity has small boobs like me. Awesome. Small boobs unite, take back the night! 2.) The short hair. Do I like it or hate it? I used to say hate, but now I'm getting used to it. 3.) Noel or Ben? Ben. Ben. BEN. But a little bit Noel. 4.) How much do I hate Julie? You are like the poor man's Jennifer Love Heweitt, with your boob-clinging tops and pointy face. 5.) In what universe could anyone without a dead, rich uncle afford a Manhattan loft the size of Sean's? (The same goes for Monica's apartment in "Friends," but I digress.) 6.) Megan is my girlfriend. Also, on TV... "Sorority Life 2." This is more of a show that I really don't want to watch at all, but it has sort of a car accident effect on me. Here are the things I think about when I watch "Sorority Life": 1.) Why would anyone ever do this? That is, join a group where they boss you around, make you do stupid asinine shit to prove yourself so that you can enter forced friendships with a bunch of lame-ass girls that you don't even l like? Our founding fathers drafted the Bill of Rights so that we wouldn't have to do just that! (Kinda.) 2.) If I lived in Buffalo, I would kill myself. 3.) "Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me?" 4.) Nicole wins the prize for the most wrong-looking hair on television. 5.) Why? When they talk? Do they end? Every sentence? As though? It's a question? I have watched little bits of "Fraternity Life," but it doesn't hold the same level of interest for me. There's just something about watching stupid, bitchy women go at it that is riveting. Which is why Jerry Springer is a rich, rich man. Also, this is not a show, but we watched "Vanilla Sky" last night. I should have heeded my sister's warning and watched "Abre Los Ojos" instead, but we were feeling lazy and went for the American remake. Guess what? It was bad. I mean, baseline, I don't like The Cruise, but that didn't get in my way of liking "Minority Report." My inner monologue while watching this movie went something like, "What? What? What the hell is going on? Wait, is he deformed now or not, I can't tell. What? What's happening? Penelope Cruz has nice hair. What the fuck? It was all a dream? Is this movie over yet?" The moral of the story is: don't be ugly, or everyone will hate you. Got that? Oh, so I was talking about trashy books before. In an effort to not read all the new books that I'm saving for vacation, I've been revisiting the books of my youth. Which I why I just finished re-reading Flowers in the Attic. I admit that the first time I read this book, I thought it was pretty good. This was when I thought that any book that was famous was a "classic." And, to put it a cut above Jane Eyre, at least it kept my interest and it was a nice airplane ride page-turner. (I read it on the plane to Egypt when I was eleven.) And really, at that age, all of the incest stuff was not as important as the fact that they! had! SEX! I was reading a book with sex in it! And my parent's didn't even know! Then I read the book again when I was twelve and realized that it was total crap. So completely misogynistic and chauvinistic, but also simultaneously man-hating, with the notion that men are such animals that if they absolutely will not be able to control themselves and will completely rape you if you show them cleavage. All the male-female relationships in this book and their sequels (yes, I read the sequels too) are completely physically and mentally abusive, and yet this is presented as a normal way of being. Well, of course your husband is going to sodomize your midget sister while you're out of the house and then beat you and tie you to the bedposts for wanting to attend your brother's graduation ceremony, what else can you expect from a man? Everyone is getting raped all over the place, and then they complain that the guy who raped them finished too fast to give them a chance to enjoy the experience. And why the hell do they keep fucking their relatives? What kind of Oedipal circus is this? Trash! Rubbish! But then again, I subscribe to US Weekly, so what do I know? xo Michelle Countdown to the wedding: 18 days |
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Thursday . April 10 . 2003 . 9:06am all manner of trash Now it is time to talk about TV. Before this year, I never really watched that much TV. Well, first I didn't have a TV. Then I had a TV but I was in medical school, so I had no time to watch TV. Then, I had slightly more time to watch TV, but I hated my roommates so much that I would rather hole myself up in my room playing Jewelbox for hours (or Diamond Mine, the ersatz Jewelbox) rather than be in the living room and have to see them. But now I am a fourth year medical student, so I have nothing to do all day long while I sit around waiting to collect my diploma. Things to do while sitting around include: playing with the dog, surfing the internet for interesting reading material, napping, reading trashy books so that I can save the good books for our honeymoon and cross-country travel (more on trashy books later), having witty conversations with Joe, and, of course, watching TV. Of these activities, watching TV is the easiest (other than napping), because it requires no energy whatsoever, unless you want to change the channel or turn up the volume. Here are some things that I have been watching on TV. "Felicity." I am such a girl. As I have raved before, Felicity is broadcast every weekday (and on the weekend sometimes too, it seems) on We, the channel for ladies. (This is different from Oxygen, I just discovered recently. That's the Oprah channel for ladies.) Felicity is a good show. It's not quite as good as, say, "My So-Called Life," which was, with a few episode exceptions, uniformly excellent and realistic, but it's pretty good. These are things that I think about when I watch "Felicity": 1.) Felicity has small boobs like me. Awesome. Small boobs unite, take back the night! 2.) The short hair. Do I like it or hate it? I used to say hate, but now I'm getting used to it. 3.) Noel or Ben? Ben. Ben. BEN. But a little bit Noel. 4.) How much do I hate Julie? You are like the poor man's Jennifer Love Heweitt, with your boob-clinging tops and pointy face. 5.) In what universe could anyone without a dead, rich uncle afford a Manhattan loft the size of Sean's? (The same goes for Monica's apartment in "Friends," but I digress.) 6.) Megan is my girlfriend. Also, on TV... "Sorority Life 2." This is more of a show that I really don't want to watch at all, but it has sort of a car accident effect on me. Here are the things I think about when I watch "Sorority Life": 1.) Why would anyone ever do this? That is, join a group where they boss you around, make you do stupid asinine shit to prove yourself so that you can enter forced friendships with a bunch of lame-ass girls that you don't even l like? Our founding fathers drafted the Bill of Rights so that we wouldn't have to do just that! (Kinda.) 2.) If I lived in Buffalo, I would kill myself. 3.) "Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me?" 4.) Nicole wins the prize for the most wrong-looking hair on television. 5.) Why? When they talk? Do they end? Every sentence? As though? It's a question? I have watched little bits of "Fraternity Life," but it doesn't hold the same level of interest for me. There's just something about watching stupid, bitchy women go at it that is riveting. Which is why Jerry Springer is a rich, rich man. Also, this is not a show, but we watched "Vanilla Sky" last night. I should have heeded my sister's warning and watched "Abre Los Ojos" instead, but we were feeling lazy and went for the American remake. Guess what? It was bad. I mean, baseline, I don't like The Cruise, but that didn't get in my way of liking "Minority Report." My inner monologue while watching this movie went something like, "What? What? What the hell is going on? Wait, is he deformed now or not, I can't tell. What? What's happening? Penelope Cruz has nice hair. What the fuck? It was all a dream? Is this movie over yet?" The moral of the story is: don't be ugly, or everyone will hate you. Got that? Oh, so I was talking about trashy books before. In an effort to not read all the new books that I'm saving for vacation, I've been revisiting the books of my youth. Which I why I just finished re-reading Flowers in the Attic. I admit that the first time I read this book, I thought it was pretty good. This was when I thought that any book that was famous was a "classic." And, to put it a cut above Jane Eyre, at least it kept my interest and it was a nice airplane ride page-turner. (I read it on the plane to Egypt when I was eleven.) And really, at that age, all of the incest stuff was not as important as the fact that they! had! SEX! I was reading a book with sex in it! And my parent's didn't even know! Then I read the book again when I was twelve and realized that it was total crap. So completely misogynistic and chauvinistic, but also simultaneously man-hating, with the notion that men are such animals that if they absolutely will not be able to control themselves and will completely rape you if you show them cleavage. All the male-female relationships in this book and their sequels (yes, I read the sequels too) are completely physically and mentally abusive, and yet this is presented as a normal way of being. Well, of course your husband is going to sodomize your midget sister while you're out of the house and then beat you and tie you to the bedposts for wanting to attend your brother's graduation ceremony, what else can you expect from a man? Everyone is getting raped all over the place, and then they complain that the guy who raped them finished too fast to give them a chance to enjoy the experience. And why the hell do they keep fucking their relatives? What kind of Oedipal circus is this? Trash! Rubbish! But then again, I subscribe to US Weekly, so what do I know? xo Michelle Countdown to the wedding: 18 days |
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