03_01_16

nerves

Today I had a flash of what it was like to get nervous about this wedding. We've been pretty good with the planning, and all of the big things are in place, but I realized suddenly today while on the crosstown bus that I had no clue how all those pieces were all going to come together in a matter of three months. It was a scary feeling, like having your Neuroscience final the next morning, and sitting at your desk at 11:00pm suddenly realizing that there are fifteen more lectures that you didn't even know you had to study.

(The wedding is not tomorrow morning, though.)

I think I must relate all my stresses to some sort of school-class-exam model, and often have dreams about not studying for a big final exam, or forgetting that I had registered for a class and then not showing up the entire semester. No, seriously, I have dreams like that all the time, and it truly makes me question whether or not I am an adult human being. What am I, Kevin Arnold? Should I be over my naked-in-the-cafeteria phase of dreaming by now?

Obviously not.

On a different subject, might I say that I love the fourth year of medical school deeply. Today I went into work for exactly an hour, ate a Burritoville burrito for lunch, and then went to the movies to see "About Schmidt" in the middle of the day. (By myself, thank you very much. I always thought it would be totally lame-ass to go to the movies by yourself, but then I realized that it was infinitely lame-ass-er to miss movies that you wanted to see just because you couldn't get anyone to go with you.) I was the youngest person in the movie theater by about thirty years, given that it was 1:20 in the afternoon so everyone else was of the retiree-walker set, and unfortunately given to taking to each other during the movie VERY LOUDLY, because, you know, the hearing's the first thing to go. Afterwards, I came home and played with the dog and watched MTV.

I love my life.

Michelle