neurotic dog lady This dog has been put on Earth to punish me for every time I ever made fun of a neurotic parent. Compared to them, I'm a fruitcake. And with so much more ammunition to feed my fret-fests. People like us should never have children. JOE Honey, have you seen the bump on her stomach? MICHELLE Where the spaying scar is? JOE Yeah. What do you think that is? MICHELLE Is it a hernia? Looks like it could be. It gets bigger when she yawns. JOE I thought so, but it's not reducible. Looks edematous to me. MICHELLE Is the incision inflamed? Is there a collection under there? JOE No, but they did a pretty shoddy job with these sutures. Looks like they just threw a figure of eight in there and called it a day. MICHELLE Sub-Qs only? JOE Yeah. There's some serosanguinous discharge coming from the site too. MICHELLE Should we get some Steri-Strips? I mean, Band-Aid bits? JOE No, she'll chew them right off. MICHELLE Oh yeah, she's dog. JOE She'll be fine. MICHELLE Maybe we should put some antiseptic on the area, just in case. JOE OK, I'll get an alcohol wipe. (Gently dabs at Cooper's spaying scar) MICHELLE What if she has an incarcerated hernia? She hasn't pooped since this morning. Could she have a post-op small bowel obstruction? JOE Nah, she looks too good. MICHELLE (Darkly) So far. JOE She seems to be sneezing less, though. I guess she's getting over that cold she caught at the pound. MICHELLE I can't believe the vet gave us antibiotics for that. It's so viral. Well, at least now she's on gram-positive coverage for possible skin infection. JOE It's not infected. It's just healing. MICHELLE Why is she moving her mouth like that? Does she have distemper? I heard dogs can get jaw seizures with distemper. JOE Honey, she's just sleeping. It's OK. MICHELLE IS OUR DOG GOING TO DIE? MICHELLE's INNER MONOLOGUE Fucking hypocrite. I promise the next entry will not be about the dog. xo Michelle |
Thursday . December 5 . 2002 . 9:49pm |
neurotic dog lady This dog has been put on Earth to punish me for every time I ever made fun of a neurotic parent. Compared to them, I'm a fruitcake. And with so much more ammunition to feed my fret-fests. People like us should never have children. JOE Honey, have you seen the bump on her stomach? MICHELLE Where the spaying scar is? JOE Yeah. What do you think that is? MICHELLE Is it a hernia? Looks like it could be. It gets bigger when she yawns. JOE I thought so, but it's not reducible. Looks edematous to me. MICHELLE Is the incision inflamed? Is there a collection under there? JOE No, but they did a pretty shoddy job with these sutures. Looks like they just threw a figure of eight in there and called it a day. MICHELLE Sub-Qs only? JOE Yeah. There's some serosanguinous discharge coming from the site too. MICHELLE Should we get some Steri-Strips? I mean, Band-Aid bits? JOE No, she'll chew them right off. MICHELLE Oh yeah, she's dog. JOE She'll be fine. MICHELLE Maybe we should put some antiseptic on the area, just in case. JOE OK, I'll get an alcohol wipe. (Gently dabs at Cooper's spaying scar) MICHELLE What if she has an incarcerated hernia? She hasn't pooped since this morning. Could she have a post-op small bowel obstruction? JOE Nah, she looks too good. MICHELLE (Darkly) So far. JOE She seems to be sneezing less, though. I guess she's getting over that cold she caught at the pound. MICHELLE I can't believe the vet gave us antibiotics for that. It's so viral. Well, at least now she's on gram-positive coverage for possible skin infection. JOE It's not infected. It's just healing. MICHELLE Why is she moving her mouth like that? Does she have distemper? I heard dogs can get jaw seizures with distemper. JOE Honey, she's just sleeping. It's OK. MICHELLE IS OUR DOG GOING TO DIE? MICHELLE's INNER MONOLOGUE Fucking hypocrite. I promise the next entry will not be about the dog. xo Michelle |
