humiliation on a grand scale (First, I wrote this entry two days ago but haven't gotten a chance to post it until today. Computer problems. Nothing new under the sun.) So today we had Pediatric Cardiology Grand Rounds, to which I showed up late. This was problem number one. The only seats left in the small auditorium were all the way up in the front, not even the front row, but a set of chairs flanking the side wall of the room, extending all the way to the projection screen, wrapping around the lecturer's lectern. Not ideal, but it would have to do. During a suitable pause in the talk, I scampered into one of these fronty-front seats as quietly and unobtrusively as possibly, hoping not to draw any more attention to myself than I already had. Problem number two is that I haven't been able to stay awake in a single lecture this entire month. Regardless of the time of day that the lecture takes place, the amount of sleep I got the night prior, the lighting conditions of the room, my level of interest in the subject matter--none of these factors affect the fact that I have religiously fallen asleep in every single lecture I've attended in recent memory. It's a little embarrassing when people catch me, my eyes rolling to the back of my skull, my head bobbing and weaving like a heavy bowling ball on a supple reed, but hey, it happens to everyone, and I'm not really being disruptive or anything, so whatever. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose. It's not like I can help it. So this was actually an interesting lecture, on device closure of ASDs, and I managed to remain fairly engaged for the first half of the talk. But then (see problem number two, above), the inevitable descent into unconsciousness. And all of a sudden, too. One second I was awake, and the next second I was not. This, in itself, would have been bad enough. I was sitting at the front of the room, practically across from the lecturer, in full view of the entire Pediatric Cardiology department. The chairman--who is like a god to me, truly one of my all-time idols--was sitting in the first row. All the grey-haired (and no-haired) doctors were gathered in neat little rows, ready audience to my narcolepsy. If I could have stayed awake, I would have. It was not the best place in the world to fall asleep. But that's not even the worst part. All of a sudden, I woke up out of sleep with a start. Some noise, or some subtle motion in my body, had set me awake. I wasn't quite sure what it was. In a semi-stuporous daze, I tried to figure out what it had been. And then I realized. I had farted. I had farted, and the sound combined with the vibration had shaken me awake. I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF GRAND ROUNDS AND FARTED MYSELF AWAKE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CARDIOLOGY DEPARTMENT. Now let us never speak of this again. xo Michelle |
Wednesday . October 23 . 2002 . 7:45pm |
humiliation on a grand scale (First, I wrote this entry two days ago but haven't gotten a chance to post it until today. Computer problems. Nothing new under the sun.) So today we had Pediatric Cardiology Grand Rounds, to which I showed up late. This was problem number one. The only seats left in the small auditorium were all the way up in the front, not even the front row, but a set of chairs flanking the side wall of the room, extending all the way to the projection screen, wrapping around the lecturer's lectern. Not ideal, but it would have to do. During a suitable pause in the talk, I scampered into one of these fronty-front seats as quietly and unobtrusively as possibly, hoping not to draw any more attention to myself than I already had. Problem number two is that I haven't been able to stay awake in a single lecture this entire month. Regardless of the time of day that the lecture takes place, the amount of sleep I got the night prior, the lighting conditions of the room, my level of interest in the subject matter--none of these factors affect the fact that I have religiously fallen asleep in every single lecture I've attended in recent memory. It's a little embarrassing when people catch me, my eyes rolling to the back of my skull, my head bobbing and weaving like a heavy bowling ball on a supple reed, but hey, it happens to everyone, and I'm not really being disruptive or anything, so whatever. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose. It's not like I can help it. So this was actually an interesting lecture, on device closure of ASDs, and I managed to remain fairly engaged for the first half of the talk. But then (see problem number two, above), the inevitable descent into unconsciousness. And all of a sudden, too. One second I was awake, and the next second I was not. This, in itself, would have been bad enough. I was sitting at the front of the room, practically across from the lecturer, in full view of the entire Pediatric Cardiology department. The chairman--who is like a god to me, truly one of my all-time idols--was sitting in the first row. All the grey-haired (and no-haired) doctors were gathered in neat little rows, ready audience to my narcolepsy. If I could have stayed awake, I would have. It was not the best place in the world to fall asleep. But that's not even the worst part. All of a sudden, I woke up out of sleep with a start. Some noise, or some subtle motion in my body, had set me awake. I wasn't quite sure what it was. In a semi-stuporous daze, I tried to figure out what it had been. And then I realized. I had farted. I had farted, and the sound combined with the vibration had shaken me awake. I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF GRAND ROUNDS AND FARTED MYSELF AWAKE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CARDIOLOGY DEPARTMENT. Now let us never speak of this again. xo Michelle |
