they call me "chunk-style" Did you ever notice how some innocent comments that assail your sense of everyday vanity can stick with you for hours, ricocheting inside your skull like some out of control air-hockey puck? Case in point, today, by the elevators, as I was coming home from the supermarket... MICHELLE (Sighting [friend]) Hey [friend's name]. FRIEND Hey, what's up? MICHELLE Nothing much. Just made a long-delayed trip to the supermarket after work. FRIEND (Eyeing bag) I see. (Suddenly, apropos of nothing) What did you get, Ultra Slim Fast? MICHELLE Uh...what? FRIEND Is that Ultra Slim Fast in your bag? MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Slim Fast is for people who want to be slim, fast. MICHELLE (Looks at outside of the bag, which distinctly bears the imprint of the six-pack of Coke within) No. No Slim Fast. Just soda. SODA. FRIEND (As though dismayed) Oh, I thought it was Ultra Slim Fast. MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Is he saying I should lose weight? MICHELLE (Lightly, mockingly) Well, I do have to keep my girlish figure, don't I? FRIEND (Covering) It's a nutritional supplement too, though. MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Is he telling me that I'm a fatty, fatty, two-by-four, can't get though the kitchen door? Would it make you think less of me if I told you this all happened an hour and a half ago and I'm still thinking about it? xo Michelle |
Monday . June 17 . 2002 . 8:56pm |
they call me "chunk-style" Did you ever notice how some innocent comments that assail your sense of everyday vanity can stick with you for hours, ricocheting inside your skull like some out of control air-hockey puck? Case in point, today, by the elevators, as I was coming home from the supermarket... MICHELLE (Sighting [friend]) Hey [friend's name]. FRIEND Hey, what's up? MICHELLE Nothing much. Just made a long-delayed trip to the supermarket after work. FRIEND (Eyeing bag) I see. (Suddenly, apropos of nothing) What did you get, Ultra Slim Fast? MICHELLE Uh...what? FRIEND Is that Ultra Slim Fast in your bag? MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Slim Fast is for people who want to be slim, fast. MICHELLE (Looks at outside of the bag, which distinctly bears the imprint of the six-pack of Coke within) No. No Slim Fast. Just soda. SODA. FRIEND (As though dismayed) Oh, I thought it was Ultra Slim Fast. MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Is he saying I should lose weight? MICHELLE (Lightly, mockingly) Well, I do have to keep my girlish figure, don't I? FRIEND (Covering) It's a nutritional supplement too, though. MICHELLE'S INNER MONOLOGUE Is he telling me that I'm a fatty, fatty, two-by-four, can't get though the kitchen door? Would it make you think less of me if I told you this all happened an hour and a half ago and I'm still thinking about it? xo Michelle |
