Saturday . June 15 . 2002 . 9:38am |
what a gyp No offense to any gypsies who might be reading this, but...what a gyp. Our entire time on Surgery (4 weeks so far and counting, for those playing along with the home version of the game) the weather has been gorgeous. Sunny, warm, beautiful, probably the best weather we've had all year. Of course, we haven't really had a chance to get out and enjoy it, but sometimes I can see it from the window of a patient's room, if their window isn't facing a wall. This weekend, I have entirely off. In fact, it's my "golden weekend," nerdy med-type lingo to describe the one completely non-work weekend you have every four weeks on a Q4 call system. And of course, the weather is horrible. Currently mid-sixties, rainy, and cold. It's so cold I'm even thinking about turning on my space heater, with the caveat that if my adjacent-room-roommate decides to do so much as turn on more than two appliances in her room, we'll blow a fuse. Of course, it's only 9am on a Saturday morning, so maybe I can chance it, seeing as how she probably won't wake up for another three hours anyway. Weather aside, I'll probably be staying in for most of the weekend regardless, since I need to study. I have the one-two punch of having my Surgery shelf and oral exam next week, followed by the Boards at the end of the week after that. Not that studying for one or the other are mutually exclusive, but it's makes it harder to decide how to divide my energies between the two. Of them all, I think that the oral exams for Surgery have the most potential for humiliation. EXAMINER OK, Michelle, a patient is rushed into the ER, heart rate 120, BP 90/60, breathing at 22, screaming in pain. What do you do? MICHELLE (Thinking) Well, I'd want to assess his airway, which seems to be fine, because he's screaming at me... so next I'd want to assess his distal pulses to... EXAMINER Now his BP is 80/50! MICHELLE (Flustered) OK, distal pulses to assess his circulatory status...start two large bore IVs in the antecubital fossa, running LR wide open... EXAMINER Michelle, the patient is dead. Next question. What ligament connects the thyroid to the trachea? MICHELLE Uh...there's a ligament there? EXAMINER The ligament of Berry! (Sighs.) Next question. Define the borders of a Grynfeltt's hernia. MICHELLE Uh...through Grynfeltt-Lesshaft's triangle. EXAMINER (With extreme impatience) Which is...? MICHELLE Uh...it's the...uh...the 12th rib is the superior border, right? EXAMINER With the internal oblique and the quadratus lumborum! (Pause) Wait, you're supposed to be a third-year medical student, right? Almost fourth? MICHELLE Yeah. I mean, I do know things, but it's just that the questions you're asking me are-- EXAMINER Final question. Which lobe of the liver... am I thinking of...(closes his eyes) right now? MICHELLE (Wild guess) The quadrate lobe? EXAMINER Not even close. Left anterior lateral segment. (Looks through his papers) Well, Michelle, I think I'm going to have no choice but to recommend that you repeat your Surgery rotation next year. MICHELLE (Whips out saber, proceeds to perform ritualistic Japanese shogun-type suicide.) OK, I should probably go study now. xo Michelle |
