Saturday . March 25 . 2002 . 12:00pm |
some carefully chosen words I actually wrote an entry yesterday, but thankfully had some second thoughts about posting it, as it was so vitriolic and finger-pointy that it would be unwise to post, especially in my current position. I'm still a student. I still need to rely on the goodwill of those in authority to help me get where I want to go. And even though I did write yesterday's entry in all honesty with no regrets, it's probably not good to post it out in the open just now. Maybe some later date, when I'm closer to graduation and the associations, however intentionally anonymous, are less obvious. Anyhoo. Last night I slept for eleven hours. I went to bed at 10:00 and woke up at 9:00 this morning. It felt fantastic. I'd almost gotten used to the wuzzy feeling in my head that I will forever associate with taking Vivarin that one time in college when I tried, unsuccessfully, to pull an all-nighter. It's amazing how precious a commodity sleep can become, as by yesterday, it was easily the one thing that I desired more than anything else in the world. I guess waking up before 3:30am every day and working through nightfall will do that to you. This morning, I took a quick trip outside to run some errands, and was literally dazzled by the sun. You know, the sun. That's that thing that makes light in the daytime. I'd forgotten. My surgery rotation is...well, it's really something. It's a little like pledging a fraternity, complete with hazing, sleepless nights, and unconditional subservience to those higher up on the heirarchy than you. The personalities are extreme. The mood is alternately bitter and disdainful. The troops are downtrodden. And if there's one thing I'm learning from this rotation, it's that I will never, ever, under any conditions, go into General Surgery. xo Michelle |
