02_05_10

killer catfish

I went to the supermarket today for the first time in about three weeks and, deciding to be adventurous, bought some of the Cajun catfish fillets on sale in the fish aisle. Sheryl bought the same marinated fish package last week, grilled it up for dinner, and just raved about how good it was, so I figured, what the hell, I would give it a shot. True, the sell by date on the package read tomorrow's date, which seemed to me like I was cutting things close, especially for fish--but this was today, not tomorrow, and anyway, I would bake it in the oven right away and it would be totally fresh and healthy and yum, right?

Joe and I both have stomachaches now. I don't know if it's from the fish or the "Cajun" seasoning, but it was definitely related to dinner. (I served the fish with some very innocuous garlic mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus, so doubtful that either of those are the culprit. The day I get a stomachache in reaction to garlic, potatoes, or asparagus is the day the music dies, because I love all three.) The fish, while not exactly rotten, had a definite fishy taste, even after baking in the oven for twenty minutes. And not the normal fishy taste, but the extra fishy taste that signals, "I'm about to decay now, so stand back." Ugh. Serves me right for being adventurous.

JOE

My stomach hurts.

MICHELLE

Mine too. Do you think it was the fish?

JOE

Well...

MICHELLE

I mean, it wasn't exactly rotten or anything,

but it was definitely on its way.

JOE

It's possible.

MICHELLE

It had that very fishy odor to it, didn't it?

I thought it tasted too fishy.

JOE

Yes. Fishy.

MICHELLE

But maybe that's what catfish tastes like.

I mean, I don't know, I haven't really eaten catfish before. I prefer a milder fish myself. You know, like...salmon. Or...you know...monkfish.

JOE

Heh. Monkfish.

MICHELLE

It's possible that it wasn't the fish at all. Maybe it was too spicy. Do you think that could be it? The Cajun spices? Burning a hole through our gastric mucosa?

JOE

I think it was the fish. You're trying to kill me.

MICHELLE

You ate it! You thought it was good!

JOE

My stomach hurts.

MICHELLE

Tienes contracciones? El bebé mueve?

JOE

Mucho líquido de su vagina?

MICHELLE

Heh. Fine, next time I get fish there, I'll

get it fresh from the counter, not in the

pre-wrapped packages on the side where

they put the fish that's about to expire.

JOE

That fish expired days ago.

MICHELLE

What? No it didn't! The package said May 11th!

JOE

Yes.

MICHELLE

Today is May 10th!

JOE

Yes.

MICHELLE

So not expired yet! Not until tomorrow!

JOE

Yes...but that fish expired

a few days ago...when it died.

MICHELLE

(Sigh)

JOE

Tee hee!

MICHELLE

It must be tough, a comic genius such as

yourself, so unappreciated in your own time.

JOE

Hee! Expired!

MICHELLE

You'd better hope we both don't expire tonight because of that rotten fish I cooked for us.

JOE

Hee. Ow. My stomach hurts.

Michelle