Don't believe the hype, they do melt in your hand as well as in your mouth. In yet another gimmicky advertising ploy to which I have helplessly succumbed, the Mars candy company has decided that there is to be a worldwide vote for a new color of M&Ms. The nominees are questionable: pink, aqua, and purple. Very 80's. I don't really like any of the new colors, but if pressed, I would vote for purple, because it's the only shade that doesn't clash with one of the pre-existing M&M colors. However, I really don't like the idea of the new rainbow-colored M&Ms concept in general, because it's basically turning M&Ms into Skittles. I think I'm too young or wasn't news-savvy enough at the time to remember this, but maybe some of you out there recall from a while back when they pulled red M&Ms from the original roster of flavors, because the Red #3 dye used for the candy was found to be tainted with arsenic or something. To me, red is still one of the "new" colors (I keep wanting to call them flavors) along with blue, which came out when I was in high school. Speaking of nostalgia, does anyone remember M&M baseball? That commercial where these two Little League kids were eating M&Ms, waiting for their turn up at bat, and this one kid said something to the other like, "When I eat a brown, I get a single, yellow's a double, orange is a triple. And when I eat a green, I hit the ball doooown-toooown!" That was cool. If I could choose a new color, though, I think I'd have to vote for them to bring back the light brown shade that they phased out when they brought back the red. I would always think of the light brown M&Ms as milk chocolate vs. the dark chocolate dark browns, even though they both taste the same. Speaking of unusual M&M colors, did you know that you can order customized colored M&Ms for events or special occasions? Hot pink, maroon, black, teal, the coordination possibilities are endless. You can even buy pre-mixed color combo packs from the site, such as a box of red, green and black M&Ms for your next Kwanzaa party. Check it out. |
Friday . March 8 . 2002 . 5:30pm |
chipmunk facies SCENE: Inside a cab, en route to the hospital. The conversation is the obligatory twenty-something nostalgia revolving around cartoons we used to watch as children. GUILLEM Hey, did anyone used to watch "Alvin and the Chipmunks?" MICHELLE Every Saturday. I loved that show. HEATH Alvin, Simon...Theodore! Doot, doot...doo doo doo doot! GUILLEM Did you ever think that if there really were chipmunks... MICHELLE Talking chipmunks. Giant chipmunks. GUILLEM Yeah! If there every were those chipmunks, and they were, like, incorporated into the human world, and adopted by a human father...how, just, disgusting that would be? MICHELLE Also, don't forget, they're rock stars. GUILLEM Yeah! That would just be gross! MICHELLE And the smart chipmunks wore glasses. HEATH They weren't disgusting. Everybody loved them. They got all the chicks. MICHELLE What chicks? The Chipettes? Another set of giant talking human-adopted female chipmunks? HEATH No, human chicks. MICHELLE No man, I thought they only got with the Chipettes. Like how they were three Chipettes, each one with a personality corresponding to their respective Chipmunk boyfriend. Like Brittany was the material one for Alvin, Jeanette was the smart-but-frumpy one for Simon, and Eleanor was the fat one for Theodore. BOBERT You know their names? HEATH No, the Chipmunks got with human chicks too. MICHELLE I must have missed those episodes. I only saw them dating their own species. Live chipmunk on chipmunk action! GUILLEM You know, proportionate to body size, chipmunks have, like, huge scrotums? (Silence) GUILLEM If chipmunks were human sized, they would have scrotums, like 30 times the size of ours. Their scrotums would be, like, bigger than their heads. (Silence) BOBERT And how, exactly, do you know this? GUILLEM Oh, because one summer I did research on chipmunks in this lab. MICHELLE and JOE (Simultaneously) Right, "research." MICHELLE Live chipmunk on human action! (A police car turns the corner and starts barreling towards us, sirens wailing) BOBERT Woah-oh, I think they heard us talking. |
Bikini Briefs |
Don't believe the hype, they do melt in your hand as well as in your mouth. In yet another gimmicky advertising ploy to which I have helplessly succumbed, the Mars candy company has decided that there is to be a worldwide vote for a new color of M&Ms. The nominees are questionable: pink, aqua, and purple. Very 80's. I don't really like any of the new colors, but if pressed, I would vote for purple, because it's the only shade that doesn't clash with one of the pre-existing M&M colors. However, I really don't like the idea of the new rainbow-colored M&Ms concept in general, because it's basically turning M&Ms into Skittles. I think I'm too young or wasn't news-savvy enough at the time to remember this, but maybe some of you out there recall from a while back when they pulled red M&Ms from the original roster of flavors, because the Red #3 dye used for the candy was found to be tainted with arsenic or something. To me, red is still one of the "new" colors (I keep wanting to call them flavors) along with blue, which came out when I was in high school. Speaking of nostalgia, does anyone remember M&M baseball? That commercial where these two Little League kids were eating M&Ms, waiting for their turn up at bat, and this one kid said something to the other like, "When I eat a brown, I get a single, yellow's a double, orange is a triple. And when I eat a green, I hit the ball doooown-toooown!" That was cool. If I could choose a new color, though, I think I'd have to vote for them to bring back the light brown shade that they phased out when they brought back the red. I would always think of the light brown M&Ms as milk chocolate vs. the dark chocolate dark browns, even though they both taste the same. Speaking of unusual M&M colors, did you know that you can order customized colored M&Ms for events or special occasions? Hot pink, maroon, black, teal, the coordination possibilities are endless. You can even buy pre-mixed color combo packs from the site, such as a box of red, green and black M&Ms for your next Kwanzaa party. Check it out. |
